Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Sometimes It's The Good Things

I'm making dinner, a task during which it's easy enough to get lost in my head. As I chop vegetables and toss ingredients into various pans, a friend sits across from me and tells me stories. I interact as much as I can until he suddenly pays me a compliment. Maybe it's something about my cooking techniques; I don't recall, but let's say it is.

The point is that I take a dive inside myself afterwards. I sink into myself for the least of reasons, but sometimes the reasons are good ones. I go off somewhere. I travel without moving. The compliment takes me back to earlier times. I question its motives and its meaning and its origination. It simultaneously makes me focus on my techniques while also bringing to mind the memories of how I learned them. In other words, the statement makes me wonder.

Meanwhile, my friend is likely watching as I disappear. He's possibly asking himself what he said wrong. He said nothing wrong. It's just that I'm prone to wondering. Wonder is what I do. And sometimes I wonder about good things.

It could be any good thing -- or anything at all -- that sends me on a journey inside. Maybe it's an invitation to a party or maybe it's a smile. Or maybe it's how oddly beautiful a thing is: a movement, an expression, a phrase. Whatever it is, it makes me wonder. And then I'm lost for a little while.

Sometimes it's hard to remember that the outside world is paying any attention as I disappear. I forget about the impression that I'm making while I'm processing the impression that was made on me.

I do eventually remember to say "thank you" to my friend, or to respond in some other way. My lateness in responding isn't a sign of anything bad, either. It's just something that happens.

Probably I should reassure my friends of this whenever I can. I should let them know when it's good.

 

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

If they are good enough to be your true friends, and remain true friends, then they need no explanation.

Zeri Kyd said...

Anon, I agree wholeheartedly. On the other hand, I also think true friends deserve as much honesty as I can give.

Mei Lian 橡媄蓮 said...

I know you. I would simply smile and await your return.

Zeri Kyd said...

Mei Lian, :-). That's a nice thing to say. I'd be relieved to find you waiting.